Love and Lemons

Three common power dynamics in a relationship and how to resolve them


Power dynamics often play a big role in romantic relationships. The most common are demanding/withdrawal, distancing/persecuting, and fear/shame.

Power plays a role in relationships, but it is not always about dominance and submission. These are often the roles each companion plays while dealing with a particular task or situation.

“Power dynamics” in a relationship refer to those roles and interaction styles that have an impact on a couple’s behavior. When there is a power imbalance, it can manifest itself in many actions, such as resentment, endless arguments, and emotional distancing.

Understanding shared power dynamics will allow you to address conflict and create a more balanced and emotionally comfortable relationship.

Validating each other doesn't mean agreeing on everything, but understanding your partner's truth, Phillips says.

According to Emily Heard, MFT, a marriage and family therapist in Menlo Park, California, power imbalances in relationships regularly arise around certain topics, such as:
When it comes to addressing these or other energy imbalances, Hurd explains that three common dynamics can develop:

“By recognizing the power dynamics of communication, any issue can be addressed, whether or not it is an important life decision or an easy confrontation,” Hurd says.

Heard explains that a demand/withdrawal dynamic develops as a person feels that their desires are not being met and that their partner is ignoring their requests.
The "student" may feel that he is constantly asking for something, but he is in no way able to communicate with her partner. This can cause:

In the evaluation, the “resigned” treats his partners’ requests with invalidity. They also seek to put an end to the relationship, but do not make it clear.
“Some may also find it painful for their partner to take on additional commitment, so they avoid it as an act of rebellion,” says Heard. "This frequently leads to heated arguments over trivial issues like washing the dishes.

How to change the dynamics

Hurd points out that the demand/with draw dynamic, one of the cornerstones of any relationship, has essentially dissolved. Allow this if your partner is aware of your desires. Try expressing yourself thusly: "I feel like I need more support about...what are you determined to control?" Alternatively, "I feel like I'm disappointing you... Can we be upfront about what we expect from each other?
The first step is a mutual commitment to listen to each other and avoid doing things that could harm each other.

The distance/pursuer dynamic in relationships occurs when one partner is more involved than the other and can often take the initiative. This dynamic electricity can be linked to your attachment style.
Attachment styles relate to the bond you created with your primary caregivers as a child.
If the primary caregiver validates, praises, and helps the child, Phillips explains, the child has a better experience of being themselves.
She adds that if the caregiver is not always emotionally supportive (for example, a dismissive personality),
Finding a companion who aids in bringing the scars of youth into adulthood is part of all of this, according to Phillips. 

 One partner will become the maximiser (power - confrontation), and the other partner will become the miniaturist (force - withdrawal).
According to Heard, different love languages (the way we give and receive love) can also play a role.
For example, the way a character shows love and affection is by sending 10 text messages to their partner throughout the day. A partner who doesn't empathize with these expressions of love may also feel suffocated by all the attention.

How to swap dynamics

Heard appears to be moving away from his comfort zone. For example, an awkward person may forget to start planning a date  read more :- bizautomotive

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